College Motivation


Wenatchee Valley College commons during summer with the fountain running,.
Wenatchee Valley College during summer.

Heighten your aspirations,

Get ‘em up where they see the sun,

Float like something lighter than desperation,

Blood soaked to the tarnished beat of your life,

But succeeding despite.

Dude,

Just get the fuck up and move.

Do it,

Even the schoolwork,

Even the homework,

You’ve had the harder lessons,

The ones that left the scars,

Now put some time into the paper ones,

The ones that will lift you to the stars.

Frivolous waste of time you once said,

Now absorb and baptize in the act of learning,

Walk onto a campus,

Where you can be something and never look back.

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Into the Blaze


Burn baby burn, home on fire.

White toothed grin wholesome and out of place, build me a river with curtains of tears from a different space.

Washed out playground full of mice and mace, deny me witheringly those indulgent ways.

Nevermore inside compulsive daze, shackle those bodies into wandering maze.

Labyrinth mode to occupy the days, if not for you then into the blaze.

Musings from the Borderlands (BPD)


Tuberculosis in those gasping fits of indulgent wheezes spraying the viscous life goo out in a spray. A misting of not so mild proportions even if the emotional fluid is less clingy initially than blood, it still latches on and shows up in the worst of spots.

The time you decided to gauge your ears and that a pen was the logical jump – pressure couldn’t hold back the infection, or the stable nutrient sludge from leaving a heavy velvet trail down the side of your neck.

Pressure can’t hold back everything, it builds on itself until there’s a raucous and feverish exhalation as the balance shifts and pop there goes the cap.

Just so with love in the quieter stages of a new relationship where urgency tears apart at your genitals, your heart, your mind, and all you want to do is sleep and talk and fuck and cuddle and touch and gaze and there’s a missing component sitting at the back of your mind whenever you’re not around the object of your infatuation soon to beget something more….

It’s an incredible array of emotions that comprise us as people in this world, so much so that the involuntary act of vomiting up a tempest of undigested feels and such onto another can be as easily described in the lead in as something detestable, rather than beautiful.

I know I like to think to that moment when the dam breaks and truest of joys radiates in a way that lets energy ripple its way across the lips and my skin seems to be afire with passionate rightness….love, or anger, sometimes they can be dual sides to the same ride, a peaceful lake to a jet boat ride or some such adrenaline rush.

But man, when I look into those eyes.

I still melt.

Change the Future


Agents of Change

Beguiled and lost in the haze of one life,

Still losing out on what could salvage that strife,

Put meaning and purpose behind all the pain,

Gather the crazy to shed light on the game,

For all the nights spent on streets,

Walking and stomping amuck.

Banging head against wall for the sound of a thud,

Claiming bad luck.

If I had to find solace in all of the facts,

Like the door once chopped down as a kid with an axe,

It would be to show vision of future not so bleak in design,

Make windowless posters and let bleed out my mind,

To a world created unsorrowful, joyous and free,

Pleasure found in success is where I’d seek to be.

I’d be pleasant and loving,

Caring and nurturing,

Devoted and faithful,

Consistent and capable.

Brilliantly damaged with an uncrafted mind,

Open to new thoughts,

Carefree instead of careless with my time.

I’d be playful and cheery,

Opulent in my charity,

Give all with sincerity,

Never expect in return,

I’d find that blistering heat of our sun to which I once yearned.

There’d be lessons with smiles,

Understanding and patience for miles.

I’d recognize your pain that I felt as a child,

Never more would I feel like I was trapped in a zoo.

The display would be dismantled,

Daily shit show would be cancelled,

Put the guardrails away,

Be approachable, jokable and laughing while at play.

I’d tell a story that said all the mistakes clear and loud,

Put nothing out there afloat on pink cloud.

Pride in voice to name myself a survivor,

Through chance and luck as much as MacGyver.

Explore the recesses of why I did what and how it had to have changed,

Look never for excuses, but reasons to grow, heal, and set aflame,

-a desire for beauty to cross ‘cross the world,

Melt away shame for my broken child be they me,

Boy or girl.

Stand owning my personal legend of existence,

Know that at the end of my days,

I made something more than a negative difference.

Snorting Magic


Insuflate that oxygen,

Couple it with sick twists of noxious purity,

Damn kid.

You’re breathing.

Prevarication


Lies and lies.

Populated pupils and dilated docility,

Give kindness your word beast won’t you?

If not for my sake then for saving humanity.

Complicating compilations adjusting advocations,

The linguistic touch of verbal salve,

Leads to mental second looks of doubt with postration.

Vivisect volumes while dancing delicately and deft,

Wounded wordsmith of untrusted breath.

Smile Damnit


Hit me with the zap darling,

Break apart the cheek sockets,

Gimme a zing that chews joy,

Spits grit and evaporates misery,

I’d like one for the road,

Splintering that jaw bone,

Forcing the brightside parade of glee,

And even if,

I’ve got tongue sized words to disagree,

They don’t matter much,

When eyes twitch out of touch,

I’m lubricated,

Half insane,

Thank God for magic moments,

Watching sadness drift down a drain.

Overloaded


Stagger and stumble,

It’s nothing if not simple overload,

So when you hear my voice fumble,

I wasn’t trying to goad,

There’s maximum saturation,

No matter how clear you flowed,

My mind lacks your maturation,

Information gets lost despite how you sowed.

Timed Out


Misanthropic pendulum of all that ever was,

An illusion mastery subtle and nonplussed,

I’ll wave this wand to carefree bless,

Our mouthfuls at the trough.

So sate your hunger amidst mine,

And let’s dance across the world,

Pay out to shallow graves,

Never knowing we lacked the time,

Though through it was where we hurled.


Glass Walls


Glass maze image from overhead.
Labrynth

Putting pieces back together in a maze made of glass,

Seeing clear the future goals to move beyond the past.

These walls that edge without blotting out my vision,

They feel so tight yet loosely fit and lie about position.

I thought myself to be far in, so buried deep indeed,

Nearly neglected thought and action calls to change for want not need.