Inspired author, Olde Punk doing his thing with Sudden Denouement

https://myvaliantsoulsblog.wordpress.com/2019/05/17/unfurl/

A personal inspiration/muse of mine is Old Punk with RamJet Poetry and an editor at Sudden Denouement. His work is often raw as hell with a clear demand for the words to be spewed, there’s emotion behind them. I’d encourage you to check his work out and give him some richly deserved love.

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Alice’s Aural Fixation

Bang down the gauntlet

and fuck up the noise.

Realize the petulant cumwads

can’t find what life says are joys.

They’ll ratchet their wisdom

down your throat in a second,

betray all that you find worthy,

if you succomb and say fuck it.

Don’t drink from their frothy lips

filled with ignorant lies.

Tell them to get bent and rot

choke on their prevarications and die.

Stroll on through the incessant chatter

of normalized shit and conversational patter,

you’ll burn in bright hues that are special

though you be considered mad as The Hatter.

Brain Worms

All credit to Captain Three Leg for the image.
Image credit to Captain Three Leg

Wiggling brain worms of love
cross each other on withering paths,
laying out siege plans and more,
demanding the mind bow and be labeled a whore.
Tussling tatters of titrated remains,
their infection spreads softly
but fierce is the pain.
When all is lost to the annals of memory
(that malleable stuff made of thoughts stuck in entropy),
we’ll know not the beginning,
seek to suss out the end.
But by that point the parasites will be dug in,
they’ve rewired the hardware,
unfucked the program and rewritten the codes.
Their beautifully at odds with all we call real,
if God were a worm I might be filled with more zeal.
A zest for the unknown where dreams can take flight,
even a place to call home in the bitterest of nights.
But, here I sit.
Obliterated identity left off as a stain
to be cleaned by the new host
who’d prefer I be insane.

Spasms to a Crystal Overture

Smoke demons.

In honor of one recently fallen, may you have found the peace you searched for in life.

Twitch, twitch again.
Twitch, twitch again.
Fumbled up the crack back, didn’t do it right,
left loose diamonds pooled in starlight.
Chewing on white whales of smoke,
dense enough to consume morals and hope.
There’s no platitudes to offer,
if you’ve been inhaling at the holy altar,
just bow your head low for new atonement,
merciful gods appear if you stay to own it..
Twitch, twitch again.
Twitch, twitch again.
Ceaseless movement all around,
darkness clutters so shapely where beasts abound,
nightmare creatures from shadows are made,
do what you can though you can’t be saved.
There are monster deeper then mind or skin,
you called them forth hoping to let them in.
Twitch, twitch again.
Twitch, twitch again.
Begging for slumber at the end of 10-days,
get along now sanity we’re deep in this haze.
A misbegotten attempt at revival,
turned the mysteries of the past into present survival.
Let lessons be taught in the way that they are.
Sick and gasping looking for the end not so far.
Twitch, twitch again.
Twitch, twitch again.
Never again, he said.
never again….

Parenting the Sin Monster

Abaddon by Eileen Understaalz

Watched from the outskirts all rimmed in love,
you gave over no safety that I could feel of.
Watched bygone while I struggled and spit
venom and vomit up until I was spent.
Watched while the waves came on moving higher,
swore I’d tell you to fuck off from my funeral pyre.
Watched while I grew sturdier before I faltered again,
lost deep in mire of life and filled up with sin.
Watched endless triumphs burned to the ground,
seemed life went crashing down even without you around.
Watched this final run at the finish line
with new eyes and a tone that said things would might not be fine.
Watched as realities melted and took rent in my head,
finally recognized that all wasn’t right for my seeming age.
Watched with compassion even from afar,
spent time learning rather than coaching a “star”.
Watched me enroll and hit the books,
instead of crack pipes and needles if you only knew.
Watched me change for ways in the better all dulled by the pain,
I walked through the fires in flames before I saw you again.
Watched me marry and find a good woman who’ll last,
she once told you to get bent though its all in the past.
Watched me grow up finally into something akin
to man racked in regrets and scarified skin.
Watched the people I’d hurt and sometimes you’d side,
with me over others, though it crushed my pride.

At the end of my days when I look on out to consider
how far I’ve come and whether I should be bitter.
You did the best you could with your view of the world
that you did what you could to help despite all the churls.
If it wasn’t for you I don’t know where I would’ve been,
maybe the futures changed are in respect to what you did.
Parenthood must not be easy I say as a father,
one seemingly absent forever trying to reclaim self enough not to falter.
And if my children one day come looking this way
I’ve got apologies, presents, and a lifetime to share—
I’ll do it different then you did, I want them to know that I’ve cared.
And if that isn’t enough and they hate on me still,
I’ll know that I forgave you for it eventually, even without a will.




Psychosis Poem

Schizophrenia inspired artwork
Artist depiction of schizophrenia

I keep trying to write something that grabs hold of the feeling of being in a psychosis–fully separated from reality in some horrible fashion. I don’t think I’ll ever fully be able to capture the experience, but hopefully some fragments of it made it onto this draft. -S

Pry them open to reality all flawed
time to see the breakdown.

Fragmented existence done in fractal recall
patterns contour the daily grind.

Never stable it will flow over you
vicious, merciless, and without care.

Trust nothing you hear or view
belief in yourself will be the only way through.

Find solid footing in personal identity
hold fast to it as the walls collapse.

Never accept what you remember
memory and truth are malleable.

Painted in a thousand shades of false
test yourself and survive.

Wiped out internally by the struggle
cleansed to nothingness, a relief.

Struggle harder and the pain will gather,
simpler by far to outlast it than fight.

Planes of existence and thought overlap
confusing rationality to no end.

Get gone boy
this is no game for children.
Sit back and let yourself be washed away
pray, pray, pray to any god listening
that it will end soon.
Sometimes they listen and sometimes they don’t,
but what have you got to lose?

Tide of Chimps

Welcomes indeed to the rising sun,

an eyepatch fucker blessed to rain heat

a tidal wave of heartless blistered air

nuclear semi-shock of exhalted explosion.

Soaked in sweat, dribbling water,

remembering whethering worse weather

and praying for that bastard to set

while pondering the insanity of sweaters.

Living like a hillbilly hodgepodge

happily met with tight stagnant air

stuck in the sky crossed room,

we are feeling less like “human”

much more like baboon.

Nightmare rabbit

All rights to Xionicjester @ Deviant Art “Nightmare Bunny”

Supple supplicants, their lips all red in hue,
bound down to sultry appetites so rigid and so few.
Clasping tight a night bound pen,
it’s nub a point of twilight glen.
We never got beyond this spot,
where shear cast moons broke down to stars,
eternities gates and Pandora’s box.
We never got so far,
As to chase the mystic rabbits beyond,
Seek out the mystery the hold,
Ones for the tykes–the other the bold.
Feeling tracks into the ether,
Its nebulous now this fucking thief named Peter,
We’ll tie him down in briar hot,
Filled with thorns and a boiling pot.
Unlace his skin again,
Drunk full of life and his lovely sin.

Note: having a bit of a manic weird day when writing this one. -S

Inside Isabella at the park.

Liquid snake is common compare,
The river beneath the milk puddled blue.
Joy soaks all the green that grows,
in hedges, lengthy strides and by rows.
Here I watch the ever present of growth
Here I see the catalyzing mystery,
of what comes next.
Along the banks of of proud water,
scales made from ripples,
a mirrored surface refracting radiance,
royal and haunted eye azure to dazzle.
A bewitching tone of cerulean
as you would see skull mounted
to the face of a person of purest pale.
Baby, wouldn’t you take the briefest of moments,
to pause, to break the doldrums of repetition.
To slither our bodies the distance across
and along that charmed prism of color.
We can be washed clean
of the need for forgiveness,
though we might beg abruptly,
for the sky to open,
and cleanse us in the love of yesteryears.
When trouble was nothing but childsplay,
whispered dreams were sought and chased.
found, pursued and realized.
We would go floating,
Bucolic and serene on tides of hope.


College Motivation

Wenatchee Valley College commons during summer with the fountain running,.
Wenatchee Valley College during summer.

Heighten your aspirations,

Get ‘em up where they see the sun,

Float like something lighter than desperation,

Blood soaked to the tarnished beat of your life,

But succeeding despite.

Dude,

Just get the fuck up and move.

Do it,

Even the schoolwork,

Even the homework,

You’ve had the harder lessons,

The ones that left the scars,

Now put some time into the paper ones,

The ones that will lift you to the stars.

Frivolous waste of time you once said,

Now absorb and baptize in the act of learning,

Walk onto a campus,

Where you can be something and never look back.